<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>If you're not the one by KanaGirl</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23152114">If you're not the one</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanaGirl/pseuds/KanaGirl'>KanaGirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hold Me Tight [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TharnType the Series (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, MewGulf - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:07:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23152114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanaGirl/pseuds/KanaGirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is Gulf hurt for him? How could someone like Gulf care so much for him? Just... how?</p>
<p>"My ever so selfless, P'Mew... when you are so glad that we meet, there's me feeling so grateful that I found you... we found each other. So please... let me in."</p>
<p>Mew wanted to say that Gulf broke down his walls a long time ago… without him even trying so hard... but he knows it would take so much for Gulf to believe given the situation they're into now.</p>
<p>"You're already in..." but Gulf left him in their shared dressing room already, losing the chance of hearing the words Mew uttered. And maybe, it's for the best... for now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>MewGulf - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hold Me Tight [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>170</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If you're not the one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This covers... two events. The Oscars where Gulf attended alone and the Laimo event where MG attended together. In case you guys gets confused - because I did too. LOL</p>
<p>The warm receipt of the first part of this series blew me away! I never knew you guys would like it so much. So I hope I get to see more of you supporting the series because I am doing my very best to keep myself on track for this fandom.</p>
<p>And yes, I'm using song titles. You should all go and listen while you read this series. &lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p>ENJOY!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“What do you mean you’re lost?”</em>
</p>
<p>Gulf grimaced to that question from Mew. Okay, maybe Gulf is lost, okay? And maybe he’s starting to panic because he’s all alone. He did not asked anyone to pick him up because he trust the app on his phone showing him the way – who happens to be the biggest mistake he ever did because now he’s lost and he knows Mew will be scolding him so much.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Where are you? What do you see?”</em>
</p>
<p>“I rode the sky train, P… and I got off to where the venue is but I don’t know where exactly I should turn.”</p>
<p>He saw the escalator and rode it. Looking around and he knows he’s attracting attention now because – what the fuck is Gulf Kanawut out in the open and all alone, anyway?</p>
<p>
  <em>“Where are P’Bester and P’Bermb? Why are you even taking the Sky Train? Why are you even alone?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Okay P, Calm down – um, excuse me may I know where –“</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t ask a stranger, for fucks sake, Gulf? Stay inside some place, I’ll call P’Bester or P’Bermb.”</em>
</p>
<p>And so Gulf found himself sitting on one of the waiting area and listens to Mew and Bosser figure things out for him. Bosser is the one calling his managers – not like he can’t do that himself. It’s just instinct for him to call Mew first before anyone whenever he gets into trouble.</p>
<p><em>“P’Bester is on his way to come pick you up. Is Mom not with you?”</em> Mew is asking about Gulf’s mom.</p>
<p>“Not today, P… since I came straight from my internship. Mom will come later.”</p>
<p>Gulf heard Mew cursed. He rarely cursed but when he does it’s either he’s frustrated, mad and worried. This time is probably one of those moments because Mew worries about him too much that sometimes it frustrates the hell out of him.</p>
<p>Mew didn’t hang up the phone until P’Bester comes. They didn’t talk much after hearing Mew cursed though. When he was about to hang up, Mew asked for the phone to be passed on Bester. Gulf didn’t hear anything but Bester did say…</p>
<p>“I will…”</p>
<p>“You worry too much…”</p>
<p>“There’ll be securities around besides us, Mew.”</p>
<p>“Yeah… okay. I’ll tell him – but I think he’ll call you during the event? Don’t you usually do that?”</p>
<p>“Okay… okay. I’ll let him know.”</p>
<p>Gulf eyed Bester suspiciously before taking back his phone from him. “What did P says?” but Bester didn’t say anything, instead he shrugs. “P? You still there?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I have classes till 10pm today… text me if you’ll call me to meet the fans later.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Oh… okay. But what did you say to P’Bester –“</p>
<p>
  <em>“Take care, Gulf. I’ll see you later.”</em>
</p>
<p>And Mew hangs up.</p>
<p>Bester didn’t say anything but a smile broke his manager’s lips and he wanted to say he’s feeling happy even though he doesn’t know exactly what’s been said by Mew. He’s feeling all too giddy… feeling loved. Feeling safe.</p>
<p>
  <em>--</em>
</p>
<p>Mew, the moment Gulf comes on, was caught off guard. They've done this a hundred of times already — video calling, I mean — but maybe it's because he becomes too aware of his and Gulf's feelings that he realized how beautiful Gulf's smile is just by the sight of him. The way the younger's lips broke into a smile is — is too much for his heart especially when it's him those smile is for. And damn it… Gulf looks dashing. He already scrolled through Twitter and saw some pictures of him uploaded by their fans but damn – no pictures of him taken and uploaded could ever do his Yai Nong’s beauty some justice. He’s so breathtakingly beautiful.</p>
<p>"Do you miss me, P?" Gulf asks and Mew is fast to think that he's asking for the fans. But that won't make him answer for their fans so...</p>
<p>"Yeah. A little bit." He teased and he can see the playfulness in Gulf's eyes as he shared their exchange to the fans.</p>
<p>"When will you finish there?" He asked. Gulf moves the phone beside his ear, a sign that he didn't hear what Mew just said which is understandable, given the situation he's currently in. So he repeats the question.</p>
<p>"I'm nearly done, P." Gulf answers. "How about you? What are you even doing before I called?"</p>
<p>"Studying." Gulf nods.</p>
<p>It may appear to some that Gulf and Mew are just casually talking but Gulf's actions that night kind of give them away especially when he nods cutely to him when he asked, "You're not that tired, right?". He saw how Gulf lowers down his phone after nodding and look around as if he got caught and Mew is just watching him through the screen of his phone.</p>
<p>Gulf really wears his heart out for the world to see. Gulf has been really bare since the beginning and maybe that's what scared Mew. Because he doesn't know how to react to someone reciprocating everything that he does. It's the first time someone ever tries.</p>
<p>When the phone call ended, the two settled in texting but that only comes after the event itself. Mew doesn't want to exchange text messages with Gulf while working. That's against his rule to himself because he doesn't want to be in a way of anyone finishing their own thing.</p>
<p>That very same evening, Mew called Gulf after receiving the text message saying he's home.</p>
<p>"Hey..." Mew greeted. Gulf got his face down flat against his pillows with one hand holding his phone. "You tired? You want me to drop this phone call so you can sleep?"</p>
<p>Gulf shook his head as a no but didn't pull away from his pillows. "You know you can just rest and we can talk some other time, right, Gulf?"</p>
<p>"Yeah..." the younger finally turns his head to face Mew and the exhaustion is clearer now for the latter to see. "But I still want to talk to you, P..."</p>
<p>"Okay... but only for thirty minutes, okay? I want you to rest. We have an event tomorrow together." Gulf nods to that.</p>
<p>"How are you today, P?"</p>
<p>"Fine. Been studying. You know this. I told you I have classes till 10pm right?"</p>
<p>"Yeah... just wanna ask again. I have seen the promotional video of our fanmeeting, P." Gulf suddenly sits up and gosh, Mew loves it when Gulf fixes his wavy hair carelessly. It's always so cute of him to do that. He loves it more when the younger lets him fix it for him. "It came out really great, P."</p>
<p>"I know. I wonder how it came out so good despite the bugs flying around."</p>
<p>Gulf laughs and Mew suddenly feel his heart skips a beat. "I know right. The fans will surely laugh at us once they found out how much we struggle filming that video." It was silent for a few seconds but then Gulf looks up to meet his gaze. "But that's not what actually caught my attention..."</p>
<p>Mew knew this is coming. He leans back against his long back chair and —</p>
<p>"What caught your attention, Gulf?"</p>
<p>"You actually imagined a wedding with me?"</p>
<p>He knew it was coming but he still took a deep breath before looking back up to Gulf. This kid never fails to surprise the hell out of him. Gulf is not good for his fragile heart, gosh.</p>
<p>"Remember how we are asked separately for that video?" Mew asked instead of answering Gulf's question. He dodged it and he's aware but Mew thinks they're not ready to talk about these things. Not yet. Not until they established something unbreakable. After all, Mew already allows himself to be selfish the day they were asked the question. They were asked to write their answers down and write how they truly feel and how they truly wants to answer. "I remember pouring my hearts out for my answer. How about you?"</p>
<p>"I did too. Like... I wrote down everything I believed I didn't tell you often." Gulf looks away, suddenly finding his nails interesting. "It's as if... our answers to their questions that day are everything we didn't say to each other often..."</p>
<p>It was another comfortable silence before Mew breaks it. "Gulf..." he calls, earning him the younger's attention in an instant. ”You know... I will never regret the day I went to talk to you... thank you for letting me into your world."</p>
<p>Gulf smiles, shyly looking away for a second before meeting Mew's eyes. "I would like to believe that it was you who pulled me in to your world that day, P..."</p>
<p>"It was you who was silent when everybody is talking and exchanging pleasantries though. Your walls are up high that day."</p>
<p>"There are no walls up around me that day, P." Gulf giggles. "I'm just waiting for someone to come along and pull me out of my shell and pull me into a new world I've never seen before — and you gave me that world, P. You gave me a place I can call home, a place I could go home to, a place I can call mine… a place we shared… a place where I’m comfortable and taken care of. A place I never knew existed."</p>
<p>Mew was caught off guard. Did Gulf really just — did he heard him right?!</p>
<p>"I'm off to bed, P." Gulf teased after seeing his P still shocked. "See you tomorr —"</p>
<p>"Are you saying that since then —"</p>
<p>"Goodnight, P."</p>
<p>And the call gets cut off but Mew sure heard Gulf giggles before it gets cut off completely.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>"With all the changes of ups-and-downs in popularities, do you ever feel bored about it? Or what would you feel if people won't ship you anymore?"</em>
</p>
<p>Gulf's eyes quickly lands on Mew, waiting for his P's answer, anticipating it. He wants to know. He's dying to know how his P feels about the possibility of them not being a shipped couple anymore.</p>
<p>How would he feel? Will he feel as bad as he does? Just by the thought of it, Gulf feels restless, he just doesn't show it but he is restless. He doesn't even reached the point where he thinks of being a shipped couple with someone else besides Mew. Why do people ask about the future as if they can see it anyway? Can't they slow the fck down a bit and let him and Mew savor the moments when it's just them?</p>
<p>"How would you feel?" He asked.</p>
<p>"Well... if that time really comes, I would feel really sad because I love working with Yai Nong."</p>
<p>Okay, that's a safe answer, Gulf tells himself. But he's sure his expression gives him away that night because he couldn't contain his feelings like he always does. It's the very reason why Mew always has to cover him up. If not with his words, it's always with his face that he slips something up.</p>
<p>"Hmmm... really?" Okay, that was soooo high pitched, but Gulf really didn't care anymore. He's happy, okay?</p>
<p>"I really mean it!" Mew assured him and Gulf couldn't stop it anymore. He knows his actions would make their fans call him out again because he sometimes forget about how he should react but news flash — he always act before thinking especially when he's happy and overwhelmed about something, okay? And if the fans figure things out what’s they truly feel for each other, then so be it.</p>
<p>And this time, he's really touched.</p>
<p>"Awwww." He squeals.</p>
<p>So when he was asked the same thing, he made sure to look into Mew's eyes, wanting the older to know that he meant every words he's about to say. Hoping the message would reach him.</p>
<p>"I also want to work with P."</p>
<p>And Mew's smile that night is enough to let Gulf knows that his message is received well.</p>
<p>"We'll be like this for as long as we can..."</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>"Hey Gulf?" Mew went beside Gulf in their shared dressing room after their event.</p>
<p>"P?"</p>
<p>"I meant every word I said back there..."</p>
<p>Gulf tears his eyes away from his phone. "Huh? I know that, P. Why —"</p>
<p>"It's just, I can feel you became restless for an moment there while we answers the questions. And I just want you to know that I want this for a long time with you —"</p>
<p>"How about us outside the ship?"</p>
<p>Mew didn't say anything. Bester, who was sitting with Bosser on the sofa right beside Gulf quickly, bids the two goodbyes, saying they'll wait for them in the parking lot.</p>
<p>"Gulf... you already know how I feel about —"</p>
<p>"I actually don't P."</p>
<p>"You said we would talk about this once I'm ready."</p>
<p>"Your walls... they're up again." Gulf says carefully and Mew took a step back, confusion in his eyes. Gulf stood from his seat and goes face to face with Mew. "When I said I don't have walls around me for you to break, this is exactly what I meant by it... because P, you may look like you're allowing anyone into your world but deep inside, there are boundaries. There is somewhere in your world that you don't allow anyone to reach... to see... and it remained that way for a long time — up until now. It's not open for anyone. Not even for me."</p>
<p>"How do you even —"</p>
<p>"Your eyes tells me more than you ever actually allow yourself talk to me about it, P... and you were caught off guard again back there, P... you took one step back away from me again back there..."</p>
<p>"It's because... you... how do I even convince myself that I deserve you anyway?"</p>
<p>“Have I ever made you feel you don't deserve me?"</p>
<p>"Gulf, do you hear yourself answering those questions? You are so willing to adjust for me. And I'd like to know why? Because I don't know how I should react to it. I never knew someone could ever give me something back until you came and now I —"</p>
<p>"You don't know how to react to it."</p>
<p>"Yes... and I'm sorry. I just need more time to process things, Gulf... I need to get accustomed to the idea of having you in my life and how willing you are to stay. I need to make myself believe —"</p>
<p>"P... I'm starting to hate those people who came before me..." Gulf gently whispers, taking Mew's hands with his own to hold them because it's starting to shake again. "Why did they hurt you so bad, hmm? Why did they make you believe you're unworthy? I don't understand why anyone would dare to make you feel so little of yourself when you deserve the world. My heart breaks every time you think you do not deserve everything you have right now..." Gulf's eyes are shiny with unshed tears and Mew can feel his heart hurting by the sight of it.</p>
<p>Why is Gulf hurt for him? How could someone like Gulf care so much for him? Just... how?</p>
<p>"My ever so selfless, P'Mew... when you are so glad that we meet, there's me feeling so grateful that I found you... we found each other. So please... let me in."</p>
<p>Mew wanted to say that Gulf broke down his walls a long time ago… without him even trying so hard... but he knows it would take so much for Gulf to believe given the situation they're into now.</p>
<p>"You're already in..." but Gulf left him in their shared dressing room already, losing the chance of hearing the words Mew uttered. And maybe, it's for the best... for now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come yell at me on Twitter, I know you want to LOL: @CheskaaaBuhat</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>